had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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