didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
