i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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