I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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