Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
