the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
