Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
