Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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