just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Randomize
