guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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