just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
