you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
