Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
