sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
