perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
