weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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