8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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