Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
