There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
