Where is the hickey?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
