worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
