paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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