Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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