Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
