You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
