Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
