i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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