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THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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