Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
