Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Randomize
