I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How naked do you want me to be?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
