You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
