you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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