so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
