end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
