how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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