What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Panties = found
Randomize
