Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
