'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
