Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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