Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
