real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
only you would photoshop your dick
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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