He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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