Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
