it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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