I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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