Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
