you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
