the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
