Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
