i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If that was your dad, he is hot
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
