Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
