How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
